What Is Shyness? Shyness is an emotion that affects how a person feels and behaves around others. Shyness can mean feeling uncomfortable, self-conscious, nervous, timid, or insecure. People who feel shy sometimes notice physical sensations like blushing or feeling speechless, shaky, or breathless.
Reacting to New Things! New and unfamiliar situations can bring out shy feelings - like the first day of school, meeting someone new, or speaking in front of a group for the first time. People are more likely to feel shy when they're not sure how to act. People who are shy often hesitate before trying something new. They usually take longer to warm up to new people and situations. Like other emotions, shy feelings can be mild, medium, or intense.
Why Are Some People Shy? Genetics: Our genes determine our physical traits, like height, eye color, skin color, and body type. But genes also influence certain personality traits, including shyness. About 20% of people have a genetic tendency to be naturally shy. Life Experiences: When people are faced with a situation that may lead them to feel shy, how they deal with that situation can shape their future reactions to similar situations. The examples other people set can also play a role in whether a person learns to be shy or not. If the parents of a shy child are overly cautious or overprotective, it can teach the child to back away from situations that might be uncomfortable or unfamiliar.
When Shyness is Extreme! Most naturally shy people can learn to manage their shyness so that it doesn't interfere with what they enjoy doing. But for a few people, shy feelings can be extreme and can seem hard to conquer. When shy feelings are this strong, they prevent a person from interacting, participating in class, and socializing. This can cause a person to avoid social situations and hold back on trying new things or making new friends. Because extreme shyness can interfere with socializing, it can also affect a person's self-confidence and self-esteem. Extreme feelings of shyness are often a sign of an anxiety condition called social phobia. People with social phobia often need the help of a therapist to overcome extreme shyness. Someone with social phobia - or extreme shyness - can overcome it! It takes time, patience, courage, and practice. But it's worth the hard work. The payoff is enjoying more friends, having more fun, and feeling more confident.
5 Ways to Shake Shyness! Start small with people you know: practice social behaviors like eye contact, confident body language, introductions, small talk, asking questions, and invitations with the people you feel most comfortable around. Smile. Build your confidence this way. Then branch out to do this with new friends, too. Think of some conversation starters: often, the hardest part of talking to someone new is getting started. Think of conversation openers, like introducing yourself, giving a compliment, or asking a question. Rehearse what to say: when you're ready to try something you've been avoiding because of shyness - write down what you want to say beforehand. Rehearse it out loud, maybe even in front of the mirror. Then just do it! Don't worry if it's not exactly like you practiced or if it's not perfect. Give yourself a chance: find group activities where you can be with people who share your interests. Give yourself a chance to practice socializing with these new people, and get to know them slowly. Develop your assertiveness: because shy people can be overly concerned with other peoples' reactions, they usually don't like to rock the boat. Being assertive means speaking up for yourself when you should, asking for what you want or need, or telling other people when they're stepping on your toes. Most of all, be yourself!